Boundaries & Healing, Part 2: Establishing Boundaries

Part 1 of this series introduced the concept of boundaries, which help us to distinguish ourselves from others and declare what we are willing to allow into our lives.  Establishing effective boundaries helps us to stay safe when we are doing healing work.

Building and enforcing healthy boundaries is a long-term process and will not happen overnight.  As you uncover what you are no longer willing to experience, you will be challenged to behave in new ways and make different choices.

This visualization can help you to understand the current state of your boundaries and change your boundaries so that they truly support your highest good.  You can use this technique regularly as you are working on your boundaries to strengthen them.  Once you build firm boundaries internally, your external world will begin to reflect them back to you, and you will naturally feel safe and respected throughout your day.

1) Take a moment to center and breathe deeply, settling into your seat.  When you feel calm and clear, visualize a staircase in front of you.  Go down 11 steps until you reach a beach.  You are now in your subconscious mind.

2) Walk to a smooth open space on the beach and imagine a circle forming in the sand around you.  Take a look at the circle and notice some details.  Does it fully surround you, or are there holes or gaps in the circle?  Is it symmetric, or are some parts of the line closer to you and others further away?  This circle represents your current boundaries.  If you would like, erase or re-draw the line so that it feels comfortable and right to you.  You might want to close up gaps or reform the circle so it is bigger or closer to your body.  You can also ask questions and get information about the gaps or shape if you would like to understand why it is that way.

3) Are there any people, thoughts, objects, feelings, colors, or words inside the circle?  Look at each object that presents itself to you and check in with your gut.  Are you comfortable with this item in your sacred space?  If not, visualize yourself picking it up and placing it on the other side of the line.  Continue until you are pleased with everything inside the circle.  If there is something or someone stubborn inside your circle, you can call on your spirit guides or angels to help remove them.

4) Look outside the circle.  Are there any items, words, colors, people, or thoughts there?  Again look at each object and check in with your gut.  Do you want those items to remain outside the circle, or would you prefer that they be allowed into your sacred space?  Visualize yourself picking them up and moving them as seems appropriate.

5) Finally, retrace the circle into the sand and imagine that radiant beams of light shoot from the sand up into the sky, completely surrounding you within your new boundary.  Feel safe and whole as you breathe in.  When you are ready, snap your fingers and watch the boundary become invisible.  You can trust that your new boundaries will remain with you as you go throughout your day.

6) Return to the staircase and count 11 steps back to your point of origin.  You are now back in your everyday reality.  You can return to this space and adjust your boundaries at any time.  If you think someone or something might be invading your boundaries, you can also return here to assess where they stand.

This post is part 2 in a multi-part series on boundaries and healing.  Part 3 will look at boundary violations.  Take notice of how you feel in the world once you have done this boundary visualization.  Do people treat you differently?  Do you attract different situations?  Were you surprised at all by what you saw?